Things I Learned from Beauty and the Beast

I’m obsessed with the Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast! I think it’s such a profound work, and I wanted to share some gems of wisdom:

  • Chat-up lines are like Nutella: they should be used in copious amounts, in all situations, at all times.


Gaston is the perfect mentor in this area; here are a few favourites for you to whack out:

We shall be the perfect pair – rather like my thighs.

You are face to face with destiny.

All’s well that ends with me!

Gaston, you charmer.

  • Eat stuff. It will make you feel better.

Be Our Guest

If you’re stressed, it’s fine dining we suggest.

Thanks, Lumiere.

  • Hunting is in this season. Also next season. Actually, just every season.


I use antlers in all of my decorating.

My – what a guy, that Gaston.

  • Do you know what’s cool? Superlatives.

kill the beast

It’s a beast! As tall as a mountain

Accurate communication is alright, but superlatives are better. Use liberally.

  • The majority is always right, especially if you’re French.


Here we come! We’re fifty strong, and fifty Frenchmen can’t be wrong

Ah, classic mob logic.

Disclaimer: I am not serious. I love Beauty and the Beast, and I think it is wonderful. Please never use a Gaston pick-up line, unless you enjoy getting punched in the face.